A little while ago anxiety began to affect my blog. All of a sudden the hobby I loved felt like it had slipped away from me and I felt so out of my depth. I doubted my talents, put pressure on myself, and felt like I just wasn't made to be a blogger any more. I joined some Facebook groups to help but often it made the problem worse as it reminded me that everyone else seemed to know more and do better.

Then Charlotte threw me a lifeline in the form of Savvy Social*, her new blog-boosting package designed to maximise the impact of your social media channels.

Worrying that they may be a one-size-fits-all solution, a bumper blog manual that would confuse me further, I hadn't looked into coaching packages before. I'm not a good learner, so I needed tailored answers in an easy format, plus some support along the way to make sure I was doing things right, and that's exactly what I got.

I filled in a simple questionnaire voicing these concerns, explaining that I felt lost when it came to improving and promoting my blog, and Charlotte listened to every one and sent back a package which addressed them in easy to read points. She struck the balance of simple-but-not-patronising perfectly, and I appreciated how all the language in the package is upbeat and constructive, there are no wrongs or negatives. Straight away this made me breathe a sigh of relief as I understood what was being said and I was reminded of what I was already doing well.

The package was easy to download and it reassured me to know that I could refer to it at any time, along with Pinterest resources Charlotte shared with me. I explained that this was the push I had needed to get me into Pinterest, which had baffled me before, and she was so helpful in sending over more guides and letting me know that she was always on hand to answer more questions.

Without giving away any of the trade secrets, I can say that my package covered a bit of everything. From effective hashtags to the best sites to make my own graphics, there were handy chunks of information on all aspects of blogging. It started with Charlotte's overview of my current plan then steps to take and things to try in all areas, including how I could use my Instagram stories to advertise my shop, and how to get the balance right between promo and personal tweets. Having 8 years of experience as both a reader and award-nominated writer herself, I really valued Charlotte's opinions and insight on this.

Once I had my guide I was raring to go, and found myself feeling more motivated to produce and share content I'm proud of. This time, instead of guessing, I had clearer ideas of when and where to post, and what to deliver to my audience, and the results speak for themselves. Before I started implementing Charlotte's advice I checked my stats for the last 4 weeks, and did the same after 28 days of Savvy Social. My Twitter followers went from 3,217 to 3,291, Instagram 641 to 682, blog users went from 159 to 393, and sessions 235 to 509. My views are small compared to some, but they have more than doubled in just a month! I didn't change my style or content, I just followed Charlotte's advice for getting it noticed. Now that I know how to boost each blog post to its full potential I feel like I am on an upwards trajectory.

My favourite thing about the programme is that it isn't a 4 week plan with a strict schedule and rules, it's a handbook tailored to you to give the tools, knowledge, and confidence to flourish on your own. I view this as just the start. Combined with the advice on Blog and Beyond, I feel equipped to take my blog further, and more importantly I am excited to do so.

*Charlotte coached me in exchange for review. All opinions are my own, and my stats speak for themselves!

I hadn't had a test before because I've had no problems with my eyesight, but I also didn't exactly relish the idea of sitting in a quiet, clinical room, which was the impression I had of most high street opticians. Luckily, the brand new space in my local Marks and Sparks is situated with the clothes, so straight away I felt that little bit more at ease, and I liked that it made the glasses feel like an a fun accessory as well as a medical aid.

My remaining worries totally melted away when I began speaking to the staff. All of them were so excited about the opening and raring to share their knowledge and show off the range. Marks and Spencer have plenty of their own designs plus big brands like Lipsy, Jimmy Choo, DVF, and Marc Jacobs. Both male and female designs are stocked, but Ben, the manager, pointed out that many styles would suit any gender, and it was really nice to know that the staff encourage you to find whatever works for you. He also told me that the staff are there to advise on styles in a kind but honest manner, which I really appreciate. I tried on a nude pair and he suggested that the style was nice, but another colour would be more flattering. The staff were in no way rude or critical, but I felt assured that they wouldn't let me go home looking silly, and it was clear to me that they truly care about giving every customer a great experience.

The customer care extends to making stylish glasses as affordable as they can for every customer. Currently, the most expensive styles are still under £200, while their own are closer to £80, and they offer a buy one get one half price deal. The anti glare add on is £30, and unlike most of their competitors, Marks and Spencer will half that price when you buy new glasses.

When I went in for the pre-test, a lovely lady called Jane explained the machines to me with so much enthusiasm, I actually found myself a little excited rather than daunted. First she had me look into a machine and focus on a hot air balloon in the distance, then she took a picture of the back of my eye, which proved to be quite fascinating! They use the same cutting edge cameras as Manchester Royal Eye Hospital to gain the clearest pictures and therefore the most accurate results to help you get the perfect prescription. It was very weird to be looking at the inside of my own eye, that's for sure. Neither of the tests hurt in the slightest, there was just a bright flash from the camera which Jane had warned me to expect, and they gave the optician to have a starting point for her assessment, which saved time overall.

The full assessment looked at my overall eye health, including how well my muscles were working, then I completed the classic 'read the letters' test with different lenses over my eyes. I was able to read the smallest line on every screen, so my vision was declared perfect! This now means that the optician has a baseline to refer back to at my next appointment in 2 years, or should I have any problems in the meantime.

Marks and Spencer really did open my eyes (ha!) to the importance of regular eye tests, but more than that, they made me truly enjoy mine and I will trust them with my tests going forward. If the lure of having Percy Pigs close by wasn't enough, the staff totally cinched it. I left with every question and concern answered, and through every step of the process I felt really comfortable thanks to their genuine passion.

Are you due for an eye test?

My eye test was provided FOC in exchange for honest review.

Oh anxiety, you little sod. Not only is it enough for you to permanently sit on my shoulder and tell me I look like an experiment, have the IQ of a doormat, and my family are in permanent danger, you just have to shout over anything that says differently, don't you? 

Recently I had an interview where the manager shook my hand and enthusiastically said she was pleased to meet me. I stumbled over some questions, but answered them all articulately, maintained eye contact, and even made the interviewers laugh with a few ice breaking jokes. They thanked me for my time and I left with a smile, not realising that anxiety was lurking around the corner. 

The minute I stepped outside it was like I had a bully walking beside me, shouting every insult they could think of. Anxiety told how stupid I sounded, how I'd sipped my water the wrong way, how they were laughing at me, not with me. For the rest of the day I couldn't even sit still because the thoughts were so intrusive and I was filled with overwhelming nervous energy. I tossed and turned that night, going over the same nasty thoughts.

My anxiety was heightened from that situation because I was really under pressure to perform and get the job (I didn't, FYI), but even in fun situations like meeting my friends or just going for a day out, I'm always reminded that I can't escape it. It waits until I'm alone then bombards me with a barrage of abuse, telling me how ugly, stupid, and unlikable I really am, pointing out every mistake or awkward moment.

Clearly, the answer here is to work on building my confidence and destroying my anxiety (much easier said than done) but I know that there will be some of you out there who understand exactly what I mean and feel even more dissuaded from doing new things because you know post event anxiety will hit, so I wanted to share some advice on what we can do to tackle it from now on. 

Jump back in

After a bad experience, it's natural to be wary, but anxiety makes it into a bad experience because it wants you to itself. Apply for another job or suggest meeting your friends again next month before those nasty thoughts can creep in and put you off.

Prove it wrong

Anxiety will pick up on the tiniest things, so beat it at its own game and write down everything you enjoyed or did well as soon as you can. It might feel boastful writing 'X said I'm hilarious and would love to see me again', but if X really said that and you can see a reminder, it's a point against anxiety.

Have a distraction or reward

As I said, anxiety gets me when I'm alone and still, so for me it works best if I can distract myself with a craft project, walk, or even cleaning my room. You might prefer rewarding yourself with a bath or a bar of your favourite chocolate to look forward to after the event so you don't go from a high to a low.

Have you experienced PEA before? How do you deal with it?

How many times have you opened a YouTube video or Instagram story to hear the words "I look gross but...", "just ignore my crazy hair", "sorry about my skin"? Personally, I've lost count.

When I first joined the beauty community and watched the big YouTubers religiously, I found it really odd that these beautiful women were giving disclaimers for their appearance in almost every video, like it was second nature to them. It comes as no surprise to me that I rarely heard it from their cis male counterparts, who never had to excuse themselves for not wearing makeup, styling their hair, or wearing a bra, but then, they wouldn't have comments reprimanding them because nobody expects it of them. In my eyes, the problem definitely stems from the media and the beauty industry, who try to dictate women for their own gain every day. Trolls and even thoughtless viewers are quick to reinforce it, happily pointing out what they see as flaws from behind a screen.

With all that to contend with, it's no wonder that the top influencers rhyme off a list of their imperfections before they speak. By getting in there first, they take the power away from anyone jumping in afterwards, but they also take the focus away from their thoughts, their personalities, which is what decent people tune in to see anyway. It's become so routine that it's filtered down to smaller influencers and viewers. I used to say it in my own videos until one day, I asked myself why.

I wouldn't apologise to my loved ones, my friends and family, so why was I doing it for random people? Simply put, I was scared of what they could say. My confidence is weak at best, and the thought of a stranger chipping it even more terrified me. It took some time, but I realised that if someone is nasty enough to insult me then they're not someone who should be anywhere near me anyway.

The point I'm really trying to make is that you can't control always control your appearance or confidence, but you can control who tries to have a say in them when you share online. If you go to post a picture or video but fear what a certain someone might think or say, please just block them. You're much more than an object for them to admire, and if they haven't realised that then they should be sorry.

Opportunities

Not only has blogging invited me to things I wouldn't have the money or chance to do ordinarily, but recently I had an interview for copy and content production that I know I wouldn't have been offered if I didn't have 17 months of blogging on my CV.

There is no manager or boss telling me when to post or how to edit the photos, I have taught myself and kept myself accountable for it all. It started as a fun hobby, but along the way I've learned how to communicate with brands and better my site, and now it's a real asset.

Understanding

I've always had an open mind and absorbed facts about people different to me, but blogging has allowed me to hear it straight from them and understand their perspective. My empathy and awareness have developed as a result, and without realising it, the bloggers I read have made me a better person.

Disabled bloggers like Beth and Sarah told me about Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a condition affecting connective tissue, which I'd never even heard of before. They've helped me to recognise my privilege, spot where things are unfair for them, and opened my eyes to using the correct terminology and assistance with other disabled people.

Bloggers like Lima and Laila discuss issues they face as women as colour, from brands excluding them to ignorance I didn't even know I had. I love reading their blogs and tweets because I see how they affect real people on a day to day basis, and I learn best through small chunks of information.

Charley is the first gender fluid person I've spoken to, and she has shown me how misrepresented she feels and taught me the things that hurt her so I can avoid them and see things from her side. I know it's not the role of disabled, ethnic minority, or gender fluid bloggers to teach, but my responsibility to learn, so by speaking to Charley I've been encouraged to do my own research and expand my knowledge.

Friendships

When I started talking to a camera in 2014, it was pretty much the only thing I talked to. I was at university, living in a poky little house with my boyfriend, studying a course I didn't love, and crying with loneliness every day.

Thanks to those videos, then this blog, I have friends I speak to every day. I have people I check in with on Twitter, friends who come to me for support and vice versa, and a group chat of girls who discuss everything, from the latest gossip to helping one another through grief. To an outsider it may seem strange that I'm mainly chatting through a screen, but I've always struggled with friendship and fitting in and this group has made me feel more supported and celebrated than anyone I've met through work or school. Maybe it's because our shared love of writing and beauty brought us together rather than our environment forcing us. 

These people are without a doubt the best bit of blogging, and I'm so incredibly grateful that the hobby that started out of isolation has brought me the answer.

What have you gained from blogging?

Not to be hipster here, but my sister was in love with llamas and alpacas long before they were plastered on, oh, everything, so a few years back I bought her a llama walk, and for my birthday she returned the favour and gifted me an alpaca walk experience.

The alpacas live in the children's zoo at Walton Hall and Gardens in Warrington, Cheshire, and from the moment we arrived we were taken aback by how lovely a setting it is. The children's playground is immaculate, with varied and inclusive equipment, and the zoo is home to all kinds of animals, many of them rescues.

The animals we were there to see were Topaz, Jim, and Malbec, a trio of adorable alpacas. With temperatures in the 30s lately, I was worried that it would be too hot for them to walk, but we soon saw that they had been sheared and even given paddling pools to chill out. They're only taken out a maximum of 3 times a week, and always at quiet times to keep it as fun for them as it is for the visitors. We gave them leaves as a peace offering, slipped their harnesses on, and set out with keeper, Peter, alongside us.

Peter was really friendly and laidback, telling us all about the alpacas and their friends, the grounds, and the hall itself. It was given to the people of Warrington to enjoy and it totally fulfils its purpose. Not only is the hall a stunning wedding venue (and alpaca photo backdrop), there are formal gardens, crazy golf, and a huge pond filled with turtles and koi carp. It's a shame I don't live closer because it's such a relaxing, well kept place to visit.

The alpacas were so fun to walk, as they generally stayed calm and gentle but showed us their personalities as they grew used to us. Jim, the multicolour one, was the cheekiest of the trio and even had a quick bite of the flowers on my sleeves! They certainly enjoyed seeing the sights and nibbling at everything in reach, treating their walk as one big buffet. They loved throwing themselves into bushes to scratch their backs, and quite a few dog owners and visitors loved spotting us strolling down the paths.

Both of us loved the experience, and it's definitely one we won't forget in a hurry.

What would you name an alpaca?

When I was a small YouTuber, I used to wonder why on Earth people weren't watching my channel. I poured so much love into it and worked really hard to teach myself editing and put up new content. Now that I've stepped back, I understand why people didn't watch me, and why I generally don't watch other small channels.

I'll read small bloggers all day long, because a post takes me around a minute to read. However, if you want people to engage with a 5-12 minute video, it really does have to be fab. As I said, I've seen both sides, and now I have some thoughts and advice that I wish someone had passed on to me back in the day.

As I wrote all of these points, I noticed that the recurring theme is getting the balance right in every aspect, and that takes time and trial and error. Nobody uploads a perfect first video, so just use these tips as a constructive starting point and try different techniques until you find what suits you.

1. You're too nervous

"Hi.. um.. guys, I've err.." no. If you can't talk to me, I won't listen to you. Nerves are natural, but you can make notes to rely on if you forget your points, and say sentences again if you stumble the first time. Just keep trying and edit out the bad bits.

2. You're wannabe Zoella

When you start a channel, 9 times out of 10 it is because somebody else inspired you, so it's understandable that you will borrow bits of their style, but your viewers want to see your personality and what makes you unique rather than a carbon copy of the big names. Try to talk to the camera the way that you talk to your friends.

3. You have no niche

When I had my channel, one week I'd be baking cupcakes, the next I'd be talking about mental health. When you're a very new channel, I honestly wouldn't recommend this route. If your subscriber base is small, it's very unlikely that they will all be interested in every topic, so pick one you're most passionate about to start with and branch out as you grow.

4. Poor aesthetics

Again, I'm speaking from experience. I used to film in front of an old bedsheet hung over my wardrobe, then blast the brightness up until my face resembled the moon. Studio lighting is good, but natural lighting really is better. You might have dips where the sun goes in, but that's far better than my face giving my viewers snow blindness for the whole video.

Aesthetics also refers to how your channel looks. Aspyn Ovard is a great example of how to do it well. She uses the same colours, fonts, and styles in all her videos and thumbnails. It ties them together and makes her instantly recognisable.

5. Sound issues

Ooh I was a bugger for this. I'd put my music on so loud that you couldn't hear a word I said, and I'm sure it put lots of potential subscribers off. For the most sleek, professional sound, put it louder when you're not speaking (when showing cooking or makeup techniques, for example), and fade it back down when you do speak. Try not to have harsh jumps where the music suddenly stops. 

When it comes to finding music, Bass Rebels are great for free tracks with no copyright. Just make sure to credit them and the original artist in your description box!

I hope these tips helped! Do you have any to add?

When I started this blog I swore I wouldn't talk about anxiety. I want to use it to look back at happy times, but the harsh reality is that they are often clouded with my doubts and fears. There are a few things that I've found to keep anxiety at bay, and if sharing them helps just one person, it's worth breaking my own ban.

Singing

I hear my anxiety very clearly, and the only way to shut The Voice up is to make another noise. Sometimes I'll click, whistle, or hum, but I love singing most as I can concentrate on the beat and lyrics for total distraction. If you don't like singing, try listening to uplifting songs and focus on hearing just one instrument at a time, or tapping out a beat. 

The outdoors

Nature is an absolute tonic for my broken little brain, as it gives me perspective. When I walk through a woodland full of trees a hundred times older than me, or listen to waves lapping on a shore, they seem much more real and powerful than any of my problems. The space also helps, it's as though anxiety can't catch me when I'm not trapped in four walls. 

Arts and crafts

Having a vivid imagination is a blessing and a curse. It works hand in hand with my anxiety, so if I tear it away and put it to good use illustrating or painting, it reduces anxiety's power hugely. It also distracts me for some time while I'm concentrating on the designs, and it's rewarding to grow my skills and have something physical at the end of it.

Stretching
Just five minutes of flinging my arms around with my iPod full blast really revitalises me. I know lots of people swear by yoga and I suppose this is my miniature version! It's nothing too fancy, I just try to lift and lengthen all my limbs as far as I can and it reduces all the crunchy tension in my bod.

Have you tried these techniques?

It's part of human nature that we get jealous, but it's still not a nice feeling. Unfortunately, blog world can flare up a lot of jealousy, whether it's being left out of girl gangs, not invited to events, or not receiving the PR package that every girl and her dog seems to be unboxing. It used to get me really down, until I changed my perspective and chilled the heck out.

You're not entitled

Sorry, I've got to drop a truth bomb right now. No matter our numbers, nobody is actually entitled to any of the blogger perks. The only guarantees in blogging are what you put out, not what you get back.

Do you REALLY want it? 

When I see people open huge boxes of Revlon's entire new collection, of course I'm lime green jelly. But then I ask myself whether I really am, and often the answer is no. I'd love the thrill of opening the box, but I'd struggle to store and wear 36 lipsticks.

See the bigger picture

Of course a blogger's stats do come into it, but so do things such as their location, and relationships with PRs. To give an example, a few of my friends were invited to the opening of a bar recently but I wasn't, and that's partly because I'm not based in the same city. PRs and brands are obviously going to look for people who tie in best with their brand, and once they have worked with that blogger, they will keep them in mind for other opportunities that will suit them.

Be better not bitter

If all else fails, use it as motivation. Look for the things you can do to boost your blog and contacts. Have you labelled your posts, joined blogger groups, politely emailed brands, and checked for broken links? Try to see every occasion as an opportunity to be even better.

How do you deal with jealousy?

Love From magazine is one that I've bought, read, and raved about for ages now. I love that it defies every typical women's magazine stereotype. You won't find fad diet plans, celebrity gossip, bodyshaming, or must have fashion guides that cost more than a small car. It's one that I'd happily recommend to my friends, and especially to younger people.

Imagine my joy, then, when the editor asked if I would like to do an interview and be on the cover! I was so, so honoured and jumped so high at the chance you'd think I had springs in my feet. Florence asked me some really insightful questions about myself, my shop, and my blog, and it was so fun answering them all. I hope that people who already know me will enjoy getting closer, and those who don't will feel encouraged by what I had to say.

As a small business owner myself, I understand how special and important every order feels, too, so it was really lovely to be part of this product. Love From doesn't come from some glossy, clinical office, it truly is a labour of love that takes so much dedication from Florence herself, as well as giving writers a platform to publish their work, making for insightful and varied articles. 

In this particular issue, there's relationship advice, a discussion on consent, plus some resources on self care. Love From isn't just a name, the magazine really does have a focus on the readers' wellbeing as well as their entertainment, and that's exactly why I am so very proud to be part of it. You can bet I'll be framing a copy!

Make sure to grab your copy for just £2 and let me know what you think. 

First of all, I feel like a right Terry Tit calling it a fashion shoot. I won't be giving the Hadids any competition or striding down the catwalks of Paris any time soon, but I did really want to show off my sassy new pants, so I handed the camera over to my dad and did my darned best. 

It was totally new territory for me so I relied on the old adage of 'preparation is key'. When planning the shoot I thought about the look, the location, and the poses. 

For the look I wanted the the trousers to be the centre of attention, but still within a relaxed outfit, so I paired them with a stripy tee and chose a denim jacket over a pleather. This was so the blue added a lighter colour and a new texture to the mix. The embroidered Betsey Johnson trainers kept it casual and the red details tied in with the trousers, while my black pleather bag matched them.

I knew I would most likely brighten the photos, and my camera would pick up every imperfection, so I wore more makeup than usual, especially bronzer. As you can see, I'm already pale on these photos, but without that extra dusting I'd be paper white. I chose an orange toned lipstick to brighten my face and still tie in with the trousers without being too matchy matchy like a blue based red would be. 

When it came to location, I headed to Liverpool for a few reasons. I find it an inspiring city in itself but it's also where my favourite fashion bloggers (Jessi, Allie, Erin, and Abigail) get their best shots. Liverpool is 40 minutes away from my home so I knew I wouldn't bump into Gwen from the pharmacy, either. 

There's so much history and industrial architecture in the city, I was spoilt for choice! Since I am still very self conscious I went on a Thursday afternoon and chose areas that weren't teeming with people, like doorways on quiet streets and the steps up to the unused museum doors, where the stone provided a neutral background. When I saw a blue doorway I had to get a snap there to match my blue and red Instagram theme!

Without a doubt, the hardest part was posing. Suddenly my arms felt like lead and I was stiff as a board. To lighten things up I'd recommend playing a feel good song in your head and moving to the beat. Think about what you want to highlight and hide, too, and plan your poses around that, using blogs and Instagrams for inspiration. In general you want your head up, back straight, and shoulders down, but to still look relaxed. It aint easy! 

In the end, I started to have fun with it and found that the last few photographs are much better than the first than the first, where I look like a rabbit in the headlights, more grimace than grinning. It really helped that my dad was playing photographer- he's seen me being a prat countless times over the last 23 years so another hour was nothing. If you want to hire a photographer, ask around for other bloggers' experiences. Personally I can vouch for Alice Red, who has a knack for making people comfortable and really highlighting their best bits and personalities.

What are your tips for fashion shoots?

Since starting my own small business, I've realised that you can feel like a needle in a haystack. There are so many marvellous makers out there that you can easily go unnoticed, and from a customer's perspective I've often found Etsy overflowing with choice too. 

To make things easier for both parties, I'll be shouting out small shops on the regular basis, and finding treasures so you don't have to! What better occasion to start with than Mothers Day?

Affiliate links used throughout. Photographs belong to respective sellers with the exception of the Pretty Gifted Paper. Prices correct at time of writing.

For a gorgeous gift, search Etsy for her favourite scents and build the ultimate pamper hamper.
Bath Tea Bags £4.99
Rejuvenating Bath Oil £10.50
Sea Buckthorn Berry Hand Cream £7.95
Multipurpose Calendula Balm £5.90
Think of this nourishing balm as an all-natural Vaseline!


Homeware
From heavenly home fragrances to personalised picture frames, I was spoilt for choice as I searched for these gems.
Pink Champagne + Pomelo Wax Brittle £4.25
Angel Pig Photo Holder £10.49
Floral Meadow Embroidered Hoop £22
Rainbow Hearts Glass Bunting £22


Jewellery
Etsy is the place if you want a personalised piece to treasure, whatever your mum's style. Personally I love this dandelion pieces because I'm a nature lover. They're that little bit different and both can be customised and made unique to your mum.
Personalised Family Dandelion Necklace £48
Wooden Triangle Jewellery Display £15
Mint + Gold Ring Dish £18
Engraved Dandelion Cuff £12.50


Stationery
I'm a firm believer that you can never have too many notebooks. If none on Etsy take your fancy I wrote a post on wrapping a custom one with Pretty Gifted paper.
Pink Mama Bear Notebook £8.50
Mother Bear Pencils £4
Floral Foxglove Notebook £4.50
Pretty Gifted Paper £7.95
If your mum owns her own business you could have it printed on this personalised paper and wrap a diary in it for her, or cover a box with 'Mum's Memories' and fill it with trinkets and photographs.

What's the best gift you've ever bought your mum?

I'll be perfectly honest, I think personalised presents can be perfect or well, tacky. It's a fine line to walk, but when I first saw Merci Maman I knew that their jewellery fell firmly on the right side for me.

I came to know them through the Easter Carnlival event, where I won a voucher that they had kindly donated. I hopped on to the site and loved looking through their gemstone necklaces, Liberty print bracelets, and dainty rings, but ultimately had my heart set on a simple personalised flat bangle that would look very understated and chic, but mean a lot to me. All of the items are hand engraved in a clear but decorative font, and range from fitting just a single initial to a favourite phrase.

After almost a year of choosing the perfect quote, I decided on 'Don't stop me now'. For me, it's a nod to my precious Freddie Mercury and a reminder to have some of his sass, and almost an amulet against anxiety, warning it not to stop me have fun. Who knew a bangle could be so deep, huh? I'll just tell someone it's my favourite song if they ask me in person!

The bangle is available in yellow gold or silver, but obviously I had to choose 18ct plated rose gold. At the checkout I was pleased to find free delivery (always a bonus) plus the option to choose a free gift box, which was a lovely touch because these items really are made for gifting, whether to yourself or someone else. They're beautiful, bespoke pieces that deserve all the bells and whistles. 

My bangle arrived really quickly but this is where my high opinion faltered slightly. Upon opening the box and trying the bangle on, I was pretty disappointed to find that it is very thin. I had hoped to wear this piece every day, but now I will save it for special occasions because I worry that any bumps will bend it out of shape. Since the metal is so delicate, the engraving is etched on the very top layer, and will fade out with frequent wear.

It definitely looks how I had hoped, dainty and chic, and I really love that is has a secure fastening, unlike other bangles which hang open. The fastening is also adjustable, making this a great gift choice for a young person to treasure and wear as they grow. 

My bangle isn't exactly what I expected, and I feel that the £39 price tag is covering more of the sentimental and unique value rather than the quality of the physical item. However, I feel like this is the exception to the other items Merci Maman stock. Their open bangle, for example, looks much thicker, as do the tags and charms on their other items, and I'm not put off shopping there again.

Merci Maman is definitely a boutique I will return to, as I've seen their lines expand to suit all tastes, and their feminine jewellery really does make for special gifts. There are clean cut classic shapes, modern geometric designs, and more rustic hammered metals, all hung on dainty chains, floral fabrics, braided ropes, or leather thongs. In addition to lettering and initials, many of their pieces are made to feel more personal with charms to represent children or partners, and even gemstones to symbolise certain moods.

What's on your Merci Maman wishlist?

When it boils down to it, I think I just love blogging because I'm a nosy parker. I love reading really personal posts that feel a bit like I'm snooping through someone's diary, or I've climbed inside their brain (ew). Parenting and gardening aren't my bag, fashion and interiors are okay, but these are the posts that really float my boat.

-- Facts About Me

Yes, please tell me your first pet was a goldfish called Fin Diesel. Hit me up with your hidden talents. Let me know your favourite food, film, or flower, because I will read them all. 

Wedding Posts

Hello, stranger whose link has appeared on my feed via a blog retweet account. Don't mind me, I'm just crying over the sheer happiness on your face during the speeches, and the perfection of your table settings. If your marriage is as joyful as this post made me, you're in for a great ride. 

What I Eat In A Day

Sadly, food diary posts are something of a rare gem nowadays, and I think that's because many people are worried that either the diet police will be on their back, or they'll sound like the diet police themselves. As long as you're eating what's right for you, and not food shaming anyone else, I will read these posts again and again. 

(The exception here is Anna Saccone Joly. Fair play, the woman knows what she likes, but I've read the words 'breakfast: porridge with almond milk, blueberry, and banana' so many times it feels like Groundhog Day)

Food Reviews

I'm not a lover of fancy food reviews, I'm afraid the fennel foam and whisper of chervil are lost on me, but, weirdo that I am, I'm somewhat obsessed with snack reviews. I've stayed up way past my bedtime reading reviews of discontinued Boots sandwiches many a time, and my ultimate guilty pleasure is Candy Gurus blog. I like to save up their posts then read 30 at once, all weighing up the pros, cons, and 'mouth feel' of sweets we can't even buy in the UK. I need help. And more food reviews.

What posts will you always read?

I've been thrashing out my thoughts on this here 'corner of the internet' for a whole spin around the sun now, and it's been quite the learning curve. Naively I thought it would be a quick case of writing a story, adding some pictures, recording my memories, and maybe going to a press night if I was lucky. In actual fact I've spent two thirds of the past year on Tweetdeck, and the remaining third trying to master swirly handwriting on Instagram stories.

It's an emotional rollercoaster

One minute you're buzzing that your last post got 5 retweets, the next minute you're crying to Instagram stories about how you're jealous of the girl who got the press meal at your fave restaurant.

For every 'exciting email' there are 9 kind offers from brands who want to guest post on your blog with 6 follow links, no disclosure, and 3% off their product

Something to bear in mind next time you see your favourite blogger talking about a secret project and you feel your green eyed monster rising...

You become a perfectionist

When I started this blog I promised myself I just wanted the memories, no matter how they looked. Now I'll spend half an hour colour correcting six pixels. 

... and your family become your assistants

Woe betide your dad if he doesn't move his napkin to a photogenic angle before you snap six pictures of his breakfast! (Seriously, my dad's kindly carried boxes of drinks around a park for me before just so I could get the perfect picture. Top lad.)

There's more drama than a cat fight at the Soap Awards

She said WHAT?! Oh yes, the blogging community certainly isn't shy of a catastrophe or two, and every group chat gets filled with screenshots for all to see. Most of the time it simmers down and we all play nicely again... until the next time someone copies 12 posts and tells a whopping fib.

...and you soon learn how to dodge being at the centre

There's no denying that starting a blog was one of the best things I did in 2017, or in my life, in fact. It's brought me friendship, confidence, and some really special opportunities. It has its downsides, too (I wish I was joking about losing sleep over my Instagram theme), but overall, I'm so pleased with what I've got out of it. In 2018, I'm making it my mission to put more into it.

1.  Attend more events and meet more bloggers

I love Katy and Sammy's Carnlival events, and I've been really lucky to attend some brand events, but I am such a chicken about meeting new people and travelling to new places. I'd like to push myself and change this, as I know it would work wonders for my confidence and combat my FOMO. "A ship is safe in harbour but that is not what ships are for" and all that!

2. Comment on blog posts

I love supporting other bloggers through shoutouts and retweets, but I'm terrible at commenting on other posts. It's a real boost to get a comment on a post you worked hard on, so I'm determined to take the time to do that for the writers I love.

3. Search or ask for affiliate links before I buy

To support creators financially, I'm going to ask around for links before I make a purchase. It's no extra effort on my part to click their link or use a code, and if it generates a bit of income to help them produce more content, it's a win win situation!

4. Promote my shiz!
I would rather do 30 minutes on a treadmill than Tweetdeck, but after spending so much time writing and editing my posts and pictures it's a damn shame that I neglect to promote them. I'll try to get into a routine where you don't miss a post, but don't want to nut me for spamming your feeds either. You're welcome.

5. Find the balance

Like everyone, I feel so much pressure to have professional content with glossy photos and a swish layout, but this often overwhelms me and I stop writing. I'd like to find the balance where I push myself and produce great content across all platforms, but ensure that it's content that makes me happy as well as looking good or fitting a trend.

Glossy photos have their place, but I need to stop holding back and saying 'nobody cares', and focus on writing for my future self and memories too. I want to talk about my new favourite songs, walks I go on, and I've even dared myself to take the plunge into fashion posts!

How are you handling your blog in 2018?

 In an attempt to at least look like I'm organised, I really wanted to find the perfect planner for 2018. I've been hugely inspired by the beautiful bullet journal designs Full Flourish shares, and I was on the search for something not too big, not too plain, and with lots of room for sassing it up with my own scribbles. It came to me from Paperchase via a CarnLIVal goody bag, and I was so excited to crack it open and start planning it out. While I'm not a big fan of owls, I do like the navy colour, coral ribbon, rose gold debossing, and the sturdy wrap cover that will protect it in my bag.

Since I'm not a busy bee, the week on two pages design is plenty of room. I plan to use them to jot down everything blog related, whether that's reminders to reply to comments, ideas for posts, or deadlines for reviews. With that in mind, I put a stats checker at the first of every month, not necessarily to put pressure on myself but just to chart my growth and see how well each month goes or where I could improve.

Your diary doesn't just have to be about reminding you of serious stuff, it can actually be a great way to encourage mindfulness, positive thinking, and help your mental health a little. If looking at your diary fills you with dread when you see nothing but appointments and meetings, make sure to physically schedule in some time for you, too.  These self care stickers are a really cute way to do it.

I always bang on about the importance of loving the little things, so I practised what I preach and included a positivity prompt every Sunday. The idea is to reflect on the week that has passed, prepare my mind for the week ahead, and to be actively aware of the good things going on. The prompts include phrases like 'a random act of kindness', 'I'm proud of' 'something that made me laugh', 'extra grateful for' and 'how I helped'.

While my blog and mental health benefit from my planner, I also find that noting down all expenses is helpful to my bank account. I'm pretty good at saving, and being able to clearly see where every pound and penny has gone is one of my secrets. If that doesn't suit you, I'd recommend using your diary to clearly mark out when your bills are going, and put in notes a week from any big sums, such as payday or holiday deposits. Regularly seeing the reminders keeps it in your mind and should help you to know when to spend or save.

Lastly, this diary contains notes pages and squared paper. I've no doubt that at some point they will become canvas to bored scribbles and doodles, but I've started them off in the right way by jotting down some 2018 goals. You could do weekly or monthly goals, to-do lists, write down encouraging and motivational words, or even stick in pictures and quotes to make a mood board. If you carry your diary with you, you then have portable inspiration!

I'm looking forward to seeing how this diary looks at the end of the year, when it's full of colour and comments, and will serve as a mini scrapbook. Is there anything else you would add in?

When I look back on 2017, I kind of see it as yet another year that anxiety swallowed up. It's much easier to see the things I didn't do than those I did. But when I look closer, I can see the days and moments where I won. 

Starting this blog

I'd dabbled in blogging, I'd tried with YouTube, but in February 2017 it all fell together and WhatLydDid was born. Buying my domain and starting to type truly was one of the best things I have ever done, and my only regret is not starting sooner. The friendships, opportunities, and most importantly, the memories this blog has brought me are ones to cherish. 

Getting a job... aaand giving it up

I was so excited to finally be employed again, to be utilising my skills and learning new ones. At first it gave me back my self worth and motivation and made me drive again, but I quickly learned that I was in a setting that was grinding me down and where my best was never good enough. I'm sad that I have to search again, but I'm really proud of myself for valuing my wellbeing.

CarnLIVal

Easter CarnLIVal and Winter CarnLIVal were two of the best days of my year. In April Katy and Sammy had booked the fifth floor of Liverpool's Hope Street Hotel, with floor-to-ceiling glass windows and a balcony offering stunning views across the city. Even looking back at the memory, I have to pinch myself, because it felt like I was in a film or a dream. The company made it even better, and I was so pleased to hang out with some of the girls again in December. It's so, so wonderful to spend an afternoon laughing and chatting, swapping gifts, and raising money for charity. I'll never stop telling Katy and Sammy how thankful I am.

Watching the perseid meteor shower

This was such a magical experience! In essence, I was just watching light streak through the night sky, yet it meant so much more than that. I loved sharing it with my mum, and I know it will be a highlight we both treasure long after 2017.

Working with Winter Gardens Blackpool

As I write this, I have reviewed 7 productions with the theatre, and on every single occasion I have welled up as the show started because I felt so incredibly lucky to be there, with that purpose. It has done wonders for my confidence by showing me that my writing is good and people care about my opinions. I don't get out much thanks to anxiety, but my theatre visits have gotten me out of the house, made memories with the family members I took along, and I will always be grateful to every reader for being part of this opportunity. You're all gems.

What stood out in 2017 for you?

Painting the walls would be a faff, so I decided to use vinyl polka dot stickers to add colour and interest instead. They were really easy to apply, won't damage the wall, and were super cheap from Ebay. I'm particularly glad that I added the pop of bright pink to break up the yellow tones.

The design is silk screen printed by artist Lu West, and while I finally decided on this yellow fellow, I would happily display any of her simplistic yet striking prints in my home. They are on the more expensive side of the print scale, at £55 for an A3 print, but I think they are really versatile. I've displayed the Mayan sun print in a desk setting, but it would be perfect for a nursery or hallway, as would her Bigger Boat design.

To tie in the colours of the Maya Sun and the polka dots, I chose to make a feature with a cheap cork noticeboard. The board takes up lots of space, absorbs a bit of sound so the room feels cosier, and I painted it to tie in the colours of my chosen theme. Achieving the geometric triangle look was time consuming but really easy- I just cut thin strips of masking tape and layered until I had an assortment of triangles, then painted them with acrylic paint and ordinary wall emulsion. I then covered the whole centre and spray painted the frame copper to match the sun's frame and my makeup brushes, which are in holders from IKEA. 

The desk itself is a plain IKEA top which rests on two legs and a set of classic ALEX drawers, where I store my makeup and some craft supplies. On top I have a Crayola crayon stack and Stabilo pens for decoration and to break up the white space, my Ban.do planner, and my Amazon Echo Dot*. It allows me to listen to music without having the temptation of logging on to YouTube or Twitter, as I do with my phone or computer.

Finally, I have my trusty friend Brahms to guard my work! He was my sister's school art project years ago, and has been part of the family ever since. I'd like to think he's a pretty good burglar deterrent and he does a great job of keeping my seat warm until I'm ready to write, edit, or illustrate.

Where do you like to work?