Stop Saying Sorry

How many times have you opened a YouTube video or Instagram story to hear the words "I look gross but...", "just ignore my crazy hair", "sorry about my skin"? Personally, I've lost count.

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When I first joined the beauty community and watched the big YouTubers religiously, I found it really odd that these beautiful women were giving disclaimers for their appearance in almost every video, like it was second nature to them. It comes as no surprise to me that I rarely heard it from their cis male counterparts, who never had to excuse themselves for not wearing makeup, styling their hair, or wearing a bra, but then, they wouldn't have comments reprimanding them because nobody expects it of them. In my eyes, the problem definitely stems from the media and the beauty industry, who try to dictate women for their own gain every day. Trolls and even thoughtless viewers are quick to reinforce it, happily pointing out what they see as flaws from behind a screen.

With all that to contend with, it's no wonder that the top influencers rhyme off a list of their imperfections before they speak. By getting in there first, they take the power away from anyone jumping in afterwards, but they also take the focus away from their thoughts, their personalities, which is what decent people tune in to see anyway. It's become so routine that it's filtered down to smaller influencers and viewers. I used to say it in my own videos until one day, I asked myself why.

I wouldn't apologise to my loved ones, my friends and family, so why was I doing it for random people? Simply put, I was scared of what they could say. My confidence is weak at best, and the thought of a stranger chipping it even more terrified me. It took some time, but I realised that if someone is nasty enough to insult me then they're not someone who should be anywhere near me anyway.

The point I'm really trying to make is that you can't control always control your appearance or confidence, but you can control who tries to have a say in them when you share online. If you go to post a picture or video but fear what a certain someone might think or say, please just block them. You're much more than an object for them to admire, and if they haven't realised that then they should be sorry.

black text read stop saying sorry: why you don't need to excuse yourself for anyone' in a white box on a pink background



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