Things Have Changed

Whenever I want to write about feeling inspired, motivated, positive, there is a little voice that taunts me. It scrambles onto my shoulders and sings "you're going to ruin it" down my ear, then sits back and sniggers as it sees me deflate. Today I wanted to fight that little demon. Life will always have its ups and downs, and while I'm up, I'd like to shout about it.


I talked earlier in the month about finally starting to work again, after 16 months of unemployed anguish. It's forced me to meet new people, to drive 8 times a week, and while there have been wobbles, there has been a turnaround in my confidence, too. I feel better equipped to cope with things, I feel that I have a purpose, and every day I am able to fulfil my passion for helping people. 

Another passion that has led to progression has been blogging. I underestimated the power of this little website, but it has had the most profound effect on my wellbeing. I have pushed myself to post every day, and that has positively influenced my time management, writing, photography, and editing skills, as well as (hopefully!) entertaining my audience. I never felt part of a community when I was on YouTube, whereas the blogosphere has felt so much more welcoming, and I feel that my posts are making some difference, somewhere.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I feel motivated to look after my body, too. Don't get me wrong, I won't be signing up for marathons any time soon, but my head is in a place where I no longer want to comfort eat. I want to no longer want to seek solace in a chocolate bar, and I want my body to feel as good as my mind does. I want to put on clothes without asking if they disguise certain bits, I want to feel my muscles growing stronger and supporting me better. 

As my motivation has grown, my anger has slipped away. For so long I harboured bitterness and jealousy, I was furious that the world had done me wrong, and without meaning to I did drag my loved ones down. I will always have a fiery streak, but I want to reserve it for situations that really deserve it rather than allowing it to run riot and feed on any tiny thing. This has meant swallowing my pride and reaching out to people who were burnt before, and making more of an effort to see the good before the bad. 

So, demon on my shoulder, that's where I am. You may be right, old habits die hard and I may lose this motivation, but now that I've shouted about it, I can always come back to listen and learn. 


What makes you feel motivated?

Share:

1 comments

  1. Great post my love, our inner critic can be such a pain the backside. I agree I comfort ate for so long an still have days were i can stuff my face, but I feel so much better when I am feeding my body with good healthy food. Different things motivate me, but I do love a challenge and I think it is pushing through fears and trying new things that is my motivator. Only get one shot so make it count, huh. xxxx

    ReplyDelete